Attention Deficit Disorder and mildly hyper active!

Attention Deficit Disorder... I haz it! I write this post while sitting comfortably on my couch while simultaneously watching the latest episode of Fringe. Can I pay attention to the episode and think about what I am typing... yes. Do I miss part of one or the other... maybe. Do I have the ability to concentrate on one thing at a time... I just don't know. I feel like my mind is working in over drive sometimes and the only way to keep it in check is to have background noise.

For eaxample, I can study or read a book and listen to music at the same time. In fact listening to music helps me concentrate. When I am coding script at work or trying to process emails I prefer to have some kind of music, if only to tune anything else out. I think it is the same way for people who work out. When I would go to the gym on a more regular basis I could turn on the music and go for two hours on the tread mill sometimes. Maybe more people can relate to that example rather then my others. And while we are on the subject of relating to this topic, my wife just doesn't get it. She doesn't understand and I don't think she can relate to the way my mind works.

So what am I supposed to do? I try and direct my attention energy into something good but sometimes i can see why or how it can be annoying. I think there are two kids of people in this world those that get it and those that don't, and she doesn't. And while we are on the subject of what she doesn't get, I don't think she gets me at all! I am in too science fiction, computers, and I love my work. When I try to talk to my wife about any of this that gets me excited she never is interested in anything I try and talk to her about. And it's not just my interest I think it's me. I think maybe there was a time she was in to me and loved me more but not anymore to be honest. I know why I married her and I know why I want to be with her I just don't believe she wants to be with me and ultimately I need someone who is interested in me as much as I am in to them. I need someone who doesn't make me feel like I am a annoyance in their life and always in their way. The seperation and eventual divorce would be painful but like any wound you sometimes have to open it to make it better.

Lately I think I have meet more girls who I feel give me more attention in the few minutes I talk to them then my wife does in a few days, and I live with her! Maybe I am just thinking that the new attention is better then what I have now and the grass is not always greenere on the other side. I get all that but when I graduated I felt like I had to force to go come to my commencement ceremony. Let's not even discuss how she treats my family. And by treat I mean doesn't interact with them. I can understand that you may not like my family but she doesn't even try to come to anything when I invite her so I usually end up with my family flying solo.

I just don't know but I am done for the night and tired...

Later