My life, my love, my happiness...

I know cheesy right? Hey but I feel the need to write about it. Simply put, my life and what is happening, my love for Tara, and my happiness, which as some might know rises and falls some days with my love which in effect rules my life.

Complicated and confusing sentence right? Well if it confuses you then your better off then I am because I think the thought of all that makes my life just a mess. Maybe mess is a strong word but it is definitely complicated. Lets face it I am trying to love with a woman who feels the need to hold a grudge aka having resentment. What I can't figure out is why she has to have all this resentment in her life. I learned years ago that holding on too any resentment is not good for anyone. If it happened in the past then SO BE IT, it's done, just move on from it. Live life and learn from it is what I say. I mean why should I be pissed off a day, week, month, year later because someone pissed in my pool? So I throw in a little chlorine and wham-o it's back to normal.

Ok so the situation is I ate the pizza Tara brought home Sunday. so instead of being a grown up about it and talking it over and being done with it and letting go she feels the need to be pissed and do other little things. Like move things without letting me know where she has moved them. I bought some jam and I went to make myself some toast this morning but could I find the jam where I put it... NO! So when I mention it to her she has to throw the pizza up as a issue. I told her I was sorry and of course no matter what I would do to try and correct the issue she would just take it as a slap in the face and be insulted. Of course I put the jam back where I originally put it, why? Because one, I feel it should be refrigerated but two because that is where I put it! Why does she feel the need to have everything her way in our house?

At least this is the way I am assuming everything to go in her head and you know where assuming gets everyone. So I also assume that she knows what she is doing and that she feels no other recourse in retaliation other then to react in such a manner.

I just wish she would go to some personal therapy or counseling at the least if not maybe we could do some couples counseling and work out our issues together. I mean I love her but if things continue this way I just don't see her sticking around, I see this ending badly, or maybe not badly but just ending. God knows I am in this for the long hall and can put up with a lot but what can she put up with is my question?

Ok I feel better and with that being said I am going to let go and let god deal with for now.

Remember...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.