Why is it always about her?

SO... I just got home from a friends house after a very nice Christmas celebration, all be it a late one, but now the less we passed out Christmas presents to each other and had dinner and watched some football and a movie. But for some reason at some point we had to turn the day into a big discussion about mine and my girlfriends relationship. Do not get me wrong I have no problem discussing my feelings or how I think about my relationship, in fact I think it makes a relationship stronger by getting everything out in the open with each other. I will admit that for whatever reason I have been in a generally bad mood for most of the day which started with me waking up later then expected. Which I think is what put my significant other, whom I say hence for refer to as T, in a bad mood because she wanted to be at our friends house by noon.
My thinking is planning on sleeping and just doing it can be entirely two different things. If you "plan" on a nap then whats the use. I would rather fall asleep in the couch, knowing I might, watching TV then decide "Hey I MIGHT be sleepy why not lay on my bed and FORCE myself to nap!" Which is the same with a good nights sleep, a good nights sleep in my opinion does not come with a alarm clock and going to bed on time. It comes with going to bed when you feel you are tired and waking up when you finally wake up, which is what happened this morning. But I didn't wake up till she finally wrapped on my door at ten minutes to noon. Then presided to be in a bad mood because once again I was running late. WHO CARES??? We were doing something casual with some friends but yet it was HER plan to be there at noon. So why couldn't she wrapped on my door at like eleven?... She says it is because I say I would make sure to be ready by that time. And yes I would have been if I was awake but I over slept, it happens. yet instead of her saying anything to the fact and getting it out she lets it sit inside her and be a big deal and effect her mood the rest of the day. Which of course effects my mood when she is in a bad mood.
I know anyone who might be reading this has no idea about the rest of my relationship or anything that has happened in the past. But T got her mood today because I am supposedly know for being late. She has this idea that I am always late for everything that is planned. Where in my opinion it is not about being late it is about what the event is. Did we need to be there by 12? In my opinion, no. Did she want to be there by 12? Yes, whole heartedly! Could she have done something about it to make it there on time? YES, wake me up in enough time to leave when you want to. she claims she is not responsible for me but yet when we are late because of that thinking it is my fault entirely! When in my opinion it just as much her fault as it is mine.
She says she knows she has problems, as in issues, I mean like control issues. But yet she goes on doing the same thing day in and day out without changing. And lets face it she is selfish, she will always think of her self and her comfort before mine. I think it is because she is afraid of getting burned and because as she has plainly put it afraid to give a inch because when that inch is given that person she is giving it to will take a mile. But all I ask is that she understand that I am not looking for a mile or even a inch most of the time. I am just looking for enough love and affection so that it does not seem like I am the one that is giving everything in the relationship. I know she has been unhappy lately but I don't think it is entirly my fault either! I think it is partly because her willingness to give all of herself in the relationship and that change is hard to accept especially when it is personal self growth change.
Please don't get me wrong I am not pointing any fingers and saying I have nothing to do with this in the least. But when I am saying is that I can only do so much on my own. I need her to "come half way" as she puts it. Most of the time I willing to give 100% and think nothing of it but their our times when it does feel like it is her above or before me.

At this point I am just rambling and yes I have tried discussing my feelings with T but I am not clear of any of my talking is going to do anything. I need her to have a willingness to listen and a willingness to change for me, for herself.

Goodnight.